Saturday, June 23, 2012

New Found Freedom

I haven't made a blog post in a while. I think it's because ever since I shed the burden of "uplifting the race" and decided that I should stay away from commenting on African American issues (because I'm Canadian with parents of Caribbean descent) I haven't been reading or commenting on blog posts the way I used to. Reading and commenting on controversial articles would stir up my emotions and ideas and prompt me to write a flurry of blog posts. The same thing happened when I read feminist articles and I've been staying away from them too.

So now when I read articles I just say to myself that it's American, those things haven't affected my life, and I have no reason to be angry any more than I do about bad things that happen all over the world (and there is no point in being angry all the time about every bad thing). Sometimes I start reading a post and it quickly occurs to me that the person is clearly showing a "victim mentality" or that they embrace the idea that "Black women are handicapped" due to their Blackness and this prevents me from becoming alarmed or feeling personally threatened by racism, poor dating prospects, or the idea that my life will be horrible just because I am Black. My life is going fine and I don't feel threatened so that's why I have shed the victim mentality and handicapped labels that I co-opted from African Americans from the books, blogs, shows, and movies I used to consume on a regular basis. I am Black but my experiences are very different from the one's I was consuming and I don't think it feels good or is really helpful for anyone to feel the way I did. Unfortunately I think it is actually encouraged and thought to be "normal" for Black people in the U.S. to think and feel that way.

I also think to myself that there is no point arguing with someone online about these things because the argument will not change anything anyway. As a result I haven't gotten upset about anything I have read this week and haven't gotten into any online arguments (although that has been rare lately anyway)! I feel so free now! I can read things and not let them put me into a bad mood and cause me to spend hours reading and writing about a topic instead of doing something that would be more beneficial to me.

So now I have more free time to work on self-improvement and I'm going to focus on reading more books and articles on topics that interest me. Right now I'm reading "Men are From Mars, and Women are From Venus" and I will do a review of the book once I am finished (so far it's really good). I am also going to get a library card and I will start reading on a regular basis. I have been spending too much time watching TV and movies on the internet and I want to be doing other things. I'm still on the job hunt and that has to take priority. I'm going to buy that Emily Post etiquette book as soon as possible. I'm going to exercise and just go out more around the city instead of staying home. I need to be more active too. Time to step away more often from the computer, become the best person I can be, and really get out there and live the best life I can!

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